After reading Hunger of Memory The Education of Richard Rodriguez I started thinking about my own ethnic background and culture. What I came up with was a lot of nothing. I called up my mom and told her that I was rootless. Her response was that I was just clueless. Thanks, mom.
I then had a conversation with her about her growing up with a Hungarian mother and a Bulgarian father. She reminded me about when her father came to Ellis Island that he had to change his first name, Marin, to Michael. However, he kept his last name Lovrinoff. Though my great aunt and uncle both changed their last names to Lorrin. My aunt even ended up having a nose job to have a more “American” nose.
As we talked my mother mostly talked about the foods my grandmother would prepare for them. Stuffed cabbage was always a favorite and chicken paprikash at Christmas were a couple she mentioned. Yet she didn’t mention any traditions that they had other than going to church.
So after I talked to my mother I called my aunt up and got some more information from her. Now she mentioned back in the early 70’s she and her dad would go to a lake with other families to listen to live music and do Macedonian dancing. She also mentioned the food aspect and added a few more items to my list like kielbasa, hurka and dobostorte. The last one is the one I remember because it is a delicious tort.
My aunt also mentioned the importance of the church and what a big deal it was when a cardinal came. He told my grandmother to make sure she spoke the language to her children. However, she didn’t take his advice. She reserved her language for her sisters and the ladies at the church.
Next I talked to my uncle. What he had to say was much of the same, no real traditions expect the food and the importance of the church. What he did mention to me that I found very interesting is that his father wanted his children to assimilate because of the discrimination he found at work. My uncle also said, “with each generation we keep losing our heritage- it is being diluted.”
I have to say that I agree with my uncle. Looking back at my own childhood we didn’t go to church, but neither did most of my friends. My mom worked like crazy and she almost never cooked “real” meals. About half of my friends moms worked, too. I wasn’t introduced to Macedonian dancing. What I realized was that I was a white girl who attended a white school, and had a white last name. Other than being told that I had a big nose I don’t think my ethnicity had a part of my growing up.
What did have a big part in my growing up was that my mom read The Feminine Mystique while in the hospital when she had me. This book opened her eyes to a new way of thinking and behaving.
I am Woman was an anthem in our house. Stories like Hansel and Gretel were retold with Gretel being the dropper of the bread crumbs. Books like Dick and Jane were pointed out that they were not the way life should be. Jane could play with boats, too. When I was around 3 I even attended the Women's Caucus in Texas.
My mom became active in politics and even ran for State Representative (she never won). I grew up going to political events and being around people who were thinkers and doers. My mom eventually became a lawyer. She even once had a man for her secretary
What all that meant was that I could do anything I wanted. Ironically I went into teaching - a typical woman’s job. College was never discussed it was just assumed that one would go. For all the wonderful and eye opening things my mom did I never learned to be a good typist. Her secretaries would type my papers for me because this was a skill I didn’t really need because I was never going to be a secretary ( secretaries are awesome!).
